MEET THE SPARTANS 2008

Spartan king Leonidas may have been raised the same proverbially harsh way when it come to military training as he practices mercilessly on his own baby boy Leo, in this low-budget Mel Brooks-type parody on 300, life in not so Ancient Sparta is mainly between idyllic and shamelessly orgiastic. When the Persian king of kings Xerxes demands 'just' slavish submission, his emissaries are dumped in a near-bottomless pit, so his vast army marches on Greece. After the dirty corrupt priests and oracle are bought, they commend levying an army but predict glorious death to the last men. Only 13 men turn up from Leonidas's elite guard. The first battles are of the hip-hop variety, and taking position at the narrow Thermopylae pass provides a huge strategic advantage, but a goat trail back-door is betrayed to Xerxes. Back home, true-to-his-name Traitoro sabotages vixen queen Margo's efforts, including bribing him sexually, to send a relief army.